Is John Humphrys a candidate for a beard transplant?In a recent piece in the Mail John Humprhys, the erstwhile co presenter of the Today Programme railed against the current popularity for beards. Unconcerned that he was offending half the male population his dislike was nearly palpable as he recalled describing them as ridiculous and even disgusting on the Today Programme in November.

Could beards prevent disease

His pogonophobia seems to stem from a feeling that the beard no longer has a useful function in modern society and that it’s home to a host of unhealthy and often unmentionable things.

Whilst he acknowledges that there is some evidence (mainly from Exeter university) that beards may actually trap harmful bacteria before they enter the respiratory system, he’s still unequivocal in his dislike when he comments about the Exeter hypothesis by stating, “even if that is true, I’d prefer not to be embraced in a manly hug by a man whose chin is the equivalent of a mobile flea pit.”

Is it just beard jealousy?

There may of course be another reason for his extreme dislike of facial hair: maybe he’s jealous as he can’t grow one himself. If that’s the case he need no longer let his smooth face be a cause of such ire as he could just have a beard transplant.

The increasingly popular procedure works in much the same way as a normal hair transplant with hair being extracted from the back of the scalp and migrated to the face rather than a bald patch on top of the head.

Although the procedure can cost upwards of £5000 the results can be truly impressive and within just a few months you can have the hirsute look you’ve always dreamed of, boosting your confidence (not that that’s particularly a problem for Mr Humphrys).

So, if patchy growth or a baby face are a source of annoyance or worse, then give your local beard transplant clinic a call.

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By Ian Watson

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